The Modern Hippy Male

Zombieland – Columbus’ Zombieland Survival Rules

zombieland zombie survival list

Columbus’ Zombieland Survival Rules

I’ve scoured the web to compile the list of Columbus’ Zombieland survival rules. It has been fabled that there is a complete Zombieland Survival Rules list that was created for the movie, but of this complete list, only a few were referenced in the movie. In all of my searching, the complete list has eluded me. I have found several rules which may (or may not) be part of the original, complete list. These unconfirmed rules are noted below as being such.

• 01. Cardio
• 02. Double Tap
• 03. Beware of bathrooms
• 04. Seat belts

According to a trailer.

• 06. Cast Iron Skillet

From a TV Spot.

• 07. Travel light

From a TV Spot.

• 12. Bounty Paper Towels

From a TV Spot.

• 15. Bowling Ball

From a TV Spot.

• 17. (Don’t) be a hero

Changed in the movie, after it’s defined, to “Be a hero.”

• 18. Limber up
• 22. Plan your escape

aka: When in doubt, know your way out.

• 29. The Buddy System
• 31. Check the back seat
• 32. Enjoy the little things
• 33. Swiss Army Knife

From a TV Spot.

What should happen next with the Zombieland franchise? A second movie, Zombieland 2. A Zombieland TV Series. It doesn't matter. As long as the cast stays the same, anything would be a success. Nothing, doing anything more would ruin a good thing. View Results  Loading ...

Help Columbus’ Zombieland Rules list grow

Do you know that one of these is incorrect, or that the numbering is wrong? Do you know where I can find a more complete, verifiable Zombieland Rules list? Either comment on this post below, or send me an email and let me know.
Myself, and other readers thank you for your contribution.

Zombieland Information

Directed by: Ruben Fleischer
Produced by: Gavin Polone
Written by: Paul Wernick & Rhett Reese
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin.
Music by: David Sardy
Release date(s)
- United States: October 2, 2009
- Canada: October 2, 2009
- United Kingdom: October 7, 2009
- Australia: December 3, 2009
Running time: 80 minutes
Country: United States
Budget: $23,600,000
Gross revenue: $61,850,958

Zombieland Movie Posters:

Zombieland Soundtrack:

Years ago while playing high school football I injured my shoulder. I had a hold of the ball carrier when a member of his team ran directly into my outstretched left arm laying it flat across my chest. The pain was immediate. I remembered hearing a pop, and another when I hit the ground. I thought this was my shoulder dislocating and then popping back into the socket. I sat out for 1 play and then went back into the game. This turned out to be a bad idea. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had torn my rotator cuff muscle. As soon as the play began I realized I had no strength in my shoulder at all.

A few years after that had happened I had an X-ray of my shoulder, as it still wasn’t feeling quite right. The doctor told me that no problems showed up on the X-ray and sent me on my way. Now, nearly 10 years later, my wife has begun working on my sore shoulder, and has determined the cause. My wife is a massage therapist and she is very good at what she does. This makes it even harder for me as the pain is very intense when she is doing her work. I find myself writing in agony, with only the thought of a better, stronger shoulder to sooth my mind. After ten years, muscles have found ways to compensate for my damaged rotator cuff. Meaning undue stress has been put on my deltoids, and various other muscles which, despite my best efforts, I’m still unable to pronounce.

3 days into treatment
Three days into the treatment of my decade old injury has shown me the light. While massage is commonly revered for it’s ability to induce relaxation, the healing properties should not be overlooked. It is still quite sore, with limited range of motion without pain, but I can feel that it is healing and getting better.

For this I must thank my wife. I hate you when you are massaging my shoulder, because it hurts like hell. But, as you state after you tell me to “shut up and quit whining,” it truly is for the best.

I just found out that I made it into my last class for my degree. YAY! I was on the wait list in 9th position originally. Then I checked a few days after and I had moved up 1 spot. I didn’t think I was going to get in, but I did.

I went up to the school to buy my books and I had a question about one of my classes. I went to the student services office and noticed a sign that said “express counseling – April 2nd.” At first I figured it was too good to be true, (and I thought it was the 3rd anyway) so I just went ahead and asked my questions to the secretary to see what she knew. She recommended that I sign up for an appointment with a counselor and 20 minutes later I was in, INSANE! Normally, at least in my experience, getting an appointment with a counselor takes a couple weeks.

Anyway, I had my appointment and asked my questions, then I asked if I was inline to graduate as my research had shown. The woman took a loot at all of my records and said that I was missing some things. She said I was missing a math class, I told her that I filed the paperwork and had it approved last year for an unapproved math class I had taken to cover for those credits. They just must not have been showing up on the printout as substituting. She then said I didn’t have the correct amount of credits for my AAUCT (transfer degree). I told her that I was going for my ATA in MIT and she once again changed her tune. She then asked if I had filled out the from to register to graduate. I said, “There’s a form?” She got me a copy of it and on the bottom it said, “To be considered for academic achievements, all graduation registration forms must be received by April 2nd, 2009.” MWWAAHHAHahahhaha. Victory is MINE! Everything was falling into place.

It was really cool to have a few things go my way for a change. Not that all things suck. In fact, I probably have it better than a lot of other people.

I’m gonna go hit the books! This extra class means a lot of work I wasn’t planning on.